2024

In Progress

Defined In my own words

Peri-menopause:

The prelude to madness

Let’s talk about perimenopause. You know that lovely little phase that shows up before menopause officially kicks in. Spoiler alert: it's the part nobody warns you about. Think of it as the pre-game to menopause, but instead of a fun party, it's like your body's decided to throw a curveball just for kicks.

Perimenopause is that stage where your hormones start going haywire, and your body basically turns into that malfunctioning robot that’s sparking and sputtering, but nobody seems to know how to fix it. Your periods? They become as unpredictable as a toddler in a candy store. One month, it’s like the Red Sea; the next, it's a trickle. And let's not even get started on the days when you think it's gone for good, only for it to show up uninvited, like that ex who just can’t take a hint.

Then come the symptoms. Oh yes, the ones you can't quite put your finger on. Is it PMS? Is it stress? Nah, it's perimenopause in all its glory. Hot flashes that make you feel like you’re suddenly sitting on the sun, mood swings that have you laughing one minute and sobbing over a commercial the next, and let’s not forget the unexplained weight gain that makes you want to scream, “But I haven’t changed anything!”

And the cherry on top? The doctors don't always have the answers. They’ll nod, smile, and tell you it’s “just a phase.” A phase, they say, that can last anywhere from a few months to a decade. Yep, you read that right. A decade.

So, what exactly is perimenopause? It's the rollercoaster ride your body takes you on as it gears up for the main event. It’s the biological version of ‘hurry up and wait,’ where your hormones fluctuate like a stock market crash. It can start as early as your mid-30s or as late as your mid-40s. There’s no “normal” because every woman’s experience is its own brand of crazy.

Bottom Line:

Perimenopause is that murky middle ground between "Is this still PMS?" and "Welcome to menopause." It’s confusing, it's frustrating, and it's the body’s way of giving us a taste of what's to come. But here’s the thing—we’re in this together, navigating the madness one hot flash at a time.

Menopause:

Is it a day or a timespan?

Let's clear this up right here and now: Menopause is not some grand, sweeping saga. It's not the entire journey that drags on for years. Nope. Menopause, in technical terms, is simply the one-day mark—the day you realize you've gone 12 months without a period. That's it. Just a day, a milestone. It’s like your body handing you a certificate that says, "Congrats, you’re officially done with periods... and officially dealing with the aftermath."

Now, here's where things get messy. Everyone talks about "menopause" like it's this big, all-encompassing experience. Newsflash: it’s actually just the meeting point between two phases—perimenopause (the pre-party full of chaos) and post menopause (the after-party where you’re still cleaning up the mess). Menopause itself is just the crossroads where you stop, look around, and realize you've survived the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause. The symptoms? Oh, they started way before this day. They don’t just magically appear when you cross that menopause finish line. They’ve been hanging out in the background like uninvited guests for years, thanks to good old perimenopause.

Think of it like Minnesota and the Twin Cities. The "Twin Cities" aren't just one place: they're Minneapolis and St. Paul—two distinct cities known as one. And around them? The suburbs. Those suburbs are the symptoms. Perimenopause is the chaotic expansion, where all these damn suburbs keep popping up and blending into each other until you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins. By the time you hit “menopause,” it’s just a line in the sand saying, “Okay, you’ve made it through the city center. Welcome to the other side.”

But here’s the kicker: this whole "menopause" thing gets treated as the overarching term for the entire journey. So, when you're struggling with mood swings, hot flashes, and weight gain during perimenopause, people say, "Oh, you can't be in menopause yet." Well, no shit, Sherlock. I'm not in menopause—I'm passing through it like a tollbooth on the highway of hormonal hell. The symptoms didn’t start on menopause day, and they sure as hell don't end there. They can linger well into post menopause, reminding you that this ride isn't over just because you hit that 12-month mark.

Only My Opinion:

Menopause is just a damn day, respectfully. To me, it is the invisible line between the two. The day you know you know you haven't had any menstrual bleeding for a year. And if you are like me, it will be a plus-take situation for days or months. I do not keep track like one should. A milestone where perimenopause hands off the baton to post menopause and says, "Good luck with that." The real journey is everything that happens around that one day. So, let’s call it what it is—a whole cluster of symptoms, phases, and confusion that have been misnamed and misunderstood for way too long.

Post-Menopause:

The Uno reverse card of Peri-menopause

So here we are—post menopause. You’d think hitting this stage means you’ve crossed the finish line, and it's all smooth sailing from here. Think again. Post menopause is basically menopause throwing down that Uno reverse card. Yes, you’re done with periods—hallelujah—but the symptoms? They didn’t get the memo. They stick around like that annoying house guest who doesn't know when to leave.

You might get a moment of celebration: “Yay, no more periods!” But then reality sets in, and you realize you’re still dealing with a slew of symptoms. Hot flashes? Check. Mood swings? Oh, they're still here. Vaginal dryness, night sweats, and weight gain? They’ve RSVP’d to this party too, and some of them plan on staying indefinitely. That’s right, for some women, these symptoms don’t just fade into the background. They linger, sometimes for the rest of your life. So much for the "bonus" of no periods.

The kicker? Now, doctors can officially diagnose you with menopause because you've gone 12 months without a period. Gee, thanks, Doc. Where was this clarity during perimenopause when I was spiraling through symptoms with no name for what was happening? Oh, now it has a label, but the problem remains: the symptoms don’t just end because you crossed the magical 12-month mark. They might get less intense over time, but for many women, they don't disappear.

If anything, this is the stage where you can finally look back and connect the dots. You realize that all those years of perimenopause were a warning, a chaotic buildup to this moment. And if we had more support and understanding during that phase, maybe—just maybe—we wouldn’t be so exhausted, frustrated, or downright bitchy by the time we reached post menopause.

The Harsh Truth:

Post menopause is like the epilogue of a really long book. The story's main plot (your periods) is over, but the aftermath continues. For some, it's a subtle chapter, for others, it's a never-ending sequel filled with the same old symptoms. It’s not the "freedom from symptoms" stage—it’s the "here’s what you're left with" phase. And that’s why understanding and managing perimenopause is so crucial. If we get the help and treatment we need early on, maybe we wouldn't arrive at post menopause feeling like we've survived a warzone.

So here we are, post menopause. We’ve lost the period and maybe a bit of our minds along the way. But hey, at least now we can officially call it what it is. It’s not the end, it’s just the next chapter in this ongoing hormonal saga. And we’re writing this damn story ourselves.

What Phase Am I In?