Who is Joni?

Hey There! It's Me.....

My hobbies might not be profound, but my uncontainable impulse to buy and try random shit? That’s definitely one. Cooking is my happy place, especially for family gatherings or potlucks—which, let’s be real, mostly happen around the holidays now. My palate? Bold, spicy, and adventurous—whether it’s Chinese, Korean, Thai, or Indian, if it brings the heat, I’m all in.

My color palette is black and white with a pop of pink (as if you couldn’t tell from my website). It’s simple, chic, and just me. I’m also a sucker for fragrances like Japanese cherry blossom, lilac, rose, and sandalwood, whether they’re in sprays, wax melts perfumes, or flowers. Basically, I want my life to smell better than it feels these days.

When I’m not working, you’ll find me passed out—I mean unwinding—with Law & Order (any series, obviously) or Suits, in my cozy pajamas. Sometimes, I’m at the local Muni, sipping a cold beer, rolling dice, and talking smack.

As for my personality? I’ve got a forgetful brain, an unfiltered mouth, and a sense of humor full of innuendos that would make me an HR nightmare—if I didn’t behave better at work, of course. But outside the office? All bets are off, and nothing is safe from my dirty mind.

Let’s be real—I’m open to advice on just about anything: fashion, hair styling, relationships, automobiles, and anything IT-related (seriously, what’s with all these passwords?). And then there’s menopause—oh, the gift that keeps on giving. It’s a hot mess of challenges that feels like stumbling through uncharted territory while someone keeps moving the map.

But here’s the deal: I’m not just here to survive it. I’m here to talk about it, learn from it, and share everything I possibly can—raw, real, and with a dose of humor. If that means turning myself into a walking science experiment for the sake of knowledge, so be it. I mean, how much worse could it really get? (Don’t answer that.)

The truth is, I need all the help I can get. Life’s a lot right now, and I’m just trying to figure it all out—one fashion fail, hot flash, and tech meltdown at a time.

When it comes to fashion, let’s just say I’m no trendsetter. I ditched jeans because my belly was losing circulation, and now I live in leggings. Hoodies are my wardrobe MVPs—they’re mostly school sports gear or bar swag, because why not? My hair routine? It’s strictly “blow and go” or whatever ponytail or clip I can wrangle on the fly. Fancy? Not in this lifetime.

Automobiles? I’ve got the basics down, and that’s all anyone should trust me with. Electronics and IT, though? Forget it. I think I’m missing a few crucial brain cells that the tech gods hand out. This entire process of building something online? A miracle wrapped in a struggle burrito.

And then there are relationships. Ugh. I must’ve signed up for the wrong course, bought the wrong manual, or just flat-out skipped the class. It’s ridiculous. So, for now, I’m focusing on me—working on self-love and rewriting my relationship application… someday. Later. Down the road. You know, the long, bumpy one that probably needs to be repaved.

These days, my lifestyle is a lot more low-key. Turns out, peace and quiet make pretty decent companions as you get older—who knew? My days as a carefree, social butterfly have gone into hibernation (let’s blame work for that), but when I do get the chance to get out, I still love meeting people and having a good chat. There’s something magical about hearing other people’s stories and soaking up their knowledge—it’s like little life lessons wrapped in conversation.

That’s probably why I started this whole journey. It’s a mix of wanting to share my own experiences, learn from others, and connect in a way that feels real and honest. Because at the end of the day, we’ve all got stories worth telling—and I want to hear them all.

Here’s your reworked section with extra Joni Ju-Ju, keeping the heart of it intact while giving it a punch of sass, relatability, and your signature tone:

Throughout my life, I’ve always had a thing for beauty and the cosmetology world. It started back in my pre-teen years, when I’d mess around with makeup, trying (and often failing) to be like the cool girls. Fast forward a few decades, and while my love for makeup hasn’t disappeared, my focus has definitely shifted to skincare.

In my late 20s, I finally decided my skin deserved more than a quick splash of water and the cheapest lotion I could find. Back then, I didn’t care about ingredients—if the ad promised anti-aging miracles, I was sold. These days, though? I’m all about understanding the components, what they do, and why they matter. Knowledge is power, baby!

When it comes to products, I’m game to try almost anything at least once—sometimes twice, just to be sure (and okay, maybe three times if I’m stubborn). I don’t judge products by their ingredients, price tags, or popularity. My motto? “To each their own.” That might not be everyone’s vibe, but it’s mine, and I’m rolling with it.

I know this might not sit well with some people, and that’s okay. I’ve been blessed with skin that seems to tolerate just about anything (thank you, genetics!), so I’ve got the freedom to experiment. But don’t worry—I’m not here to shame or preach. If a product isn’t your thing, no biggie. If it works for you, super! And if you’ve got advice or holy grail products to share, I’m all ears.

My goal is simple: to make this journey fun, positive, and totally judgment-free. I’m here to share my experiences, learn from yours, and hopefully help us all find what works. Let’s skip the drama and focus on swapping tips, tricks, and favorite finds. After all, life’s too short for bad vibes—or bad skincare.

With all that said, feel free to ask me anything or share your recommendations—I’m always game to try something new. If I test out your suggestion and fall in love with it, you better believe I’ll give you the credit you deserve. Of course, if you’d rather stay behind the curtain, that’s cool too—your secret’s safe with me.

As for me, I’m an open book. I love learning, sharing, and connecting with anyone who’s along for the ride. If you’re digging what I’m doing, why not sign up for the newsletter or follow me on social media (once I get all that up and running)? Here’s a fun fact: it doesn’t cost a single penny to like, follow, subscribe, or even leave a comment. Shocking, right? I literally learned this while binge-watching YouTube tutorials to figure all this out. Sad, but true. 😂

So, go ahead—like, follow, subscribe, or drop me a comment! Whether you do one or all, know that your support means the absolute world to me. Thank you for being part of this journey—I couldn’t do it without you.

Sincerely,
Joni

First things first—thank you for stopping by and checking out what I’m building here. This new series of events in my life has been both exciting and a little terrifying. I’m figuring it all out as I go, fueled by a mix of excitement and, let’s be honest, a drink or two (I mean a beer for me). Mistakes will happen. Some days, I’ll crush it. Other days? Well, we’ll call it character-building.

Over a year ago, I set out to share my favorite products and experiences. That was the plan—until menopause came barreling in, kicking my ass, and blowing up my world. So, I’ve curved the path. Hell, maybe zig-zagged it, depending on the day. This isn’t just about products anymore; it’s turned into an open life journal where I share what works, what doesn’t, and all the WTF moments in between.

I’m self-taught in all this—YouTube videos, Google rabbit holes, and a lot of trial and error. No fancy degrees here, but I’m learning as I go and figuring out how to make my vision a reality. So, welcome to my little corner of chaos. Let’s laugh, learn, and navigate this madness together, one zig-zag at a time.

My name is Joni Schmitz, and I’m a born-and-raised rural Minnesotan. I live in a tiny town with a population of about 500—yes, it’s small enough that everybody knows everybody (and probably their business, too). I’m a mom to five kids, ranging from 14 to 26. My youngest still has a few years of high school to go, while the others are off zig-zagging their own paths. So far, they’ve spared me the title “Grandma,” but I’m not holding my breath.

My days are usually consumed with work. I alternate between days and overnights at the hospital—my full-time gig—and cutting hair in the evenings. In 2022, I took over the local barbershop after "Barber Bob" passed away. He’d been the town’s go-to guy for over 30 years, giving haircuts for just $5. Talk about big shoes to fill (and I’m pretty sure he’d laugh at me trying to keep up).

When I finally get home to crash, I’m greeted by my zoo: two old, fat-ass cats who rule the house, a rescue cat with more sass than sense, and a yellow lab who thinks shoelaces are gourmet snacks. Sleep? Let’s just say it’s a suggestion around here.

Meet the Fam & Pets

Life has been a wild ride, and I haven't always made it easy on these amazing people (and pets) who share it with me. Through all the ups, downs, twists, and turns, they've stood by my side. I am beyond grateful for each and every one of them. They’re my anchors, my joy, and my daily reminder of what truly matters. I may not say it enough, but I am so incredibly thankful to have them in my life, every single day

Pita & Max

Smores

Winnie

The Kids 2013

The Kids 2023